With You In Your Dreams
by EvidenceOfMe
Summary: Warning character death. Ths story just popped into my head and I couldn't get it out so here it is. Based on the song With You In Your Dreams by Hanson. Can't really say to much without giving anything away. Griss/Sara One shot


_Hey. So this is inspired by the song With You In Your Dreams by Hanson. You should check it out. It's a great song This story is a character death so if you don't want read then stop here. It's just a one-shot so. Flashbacks are in italics. I don't really know what brought this on but here it is. And please let me know what you think. Enjoy_

_ Kj_

It had been two days and there was no change. Nothing. You could look at it either as a good sign...or a bad sign. But the feeling in the pit of her stomach made her think that it was a bad sign. He hadn't woken up. And the way her heart clenched every time she looked at him, gave her the eerie feeling that he wasn't going to.

She hadn't left his side. She refused too. She was not going to leave him. No matter what. She hadn't eaten or slept in two days. Even for her, that was a bit much. But that night it was different. The sleep finally caught up to her. She sat in the chair next to his bed. Her eyelids where heavy, her body exhausted. She couldn't hold out any longer. And so she gave in to the sleep that her body had been longing for.

_He knew something was off the minute he stepped out of the car at the crime scene. Something just didn't seem right. He quickly shook the feeling and headed inside. 'It's just another crime scene.' He told himself. He felt Sara walk up behind him. "I'll take the body." She said. He only nodded in response. If he spoke he was afraid his voice would give away the feelings inside. _

_They had been at the scene for an hour now. His feelings hadn't changed. And then it happened. It was just like in the movies. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. Like he was watching it all happen from somewhere else. The first thing that crossed his mind was to protect Sara. He spun around, ready to grab her and get the hell out of dodge. But the pain that shot through him made his head spin. He fell to the floor. _

_He saw the look of horror and shock flash on Sara's face. He wasn't dreaming. It had really happened. He saw her lips move but he couldn't hear a word she said. God...He was in so much pain. I guess what Brass said was true, it really did feel like he was hit by a train. All his focus was on breathing in and out. Something so simple, that he almost took for granted everyday, and now he was struggling to even take one small breathe. _

Sara woke up to a high pitched noise. Like a buzzing in your ear. She couldn't tell if it was just her imagination or if something was really making the sound. Then it was as if time had stopped. Like the whole world was at a stand still. There was no sound. No movement. Nothing. It all seemed so unreal.

And then it hit her. The wave of emotions came flooding over here in a matter of seconds. She realized what the sound was. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't even begin to grasp the thought of it. This could not be happening. It just couldn't...Could it? It had to be dream, a nightmare. This wasn't real.

Her mind was screaming at her, 'Wake up! It's not real!' but inside she knew. In her heart, she knew. And God she wished she didn't. She didn't need any machines to tell her what she knew inside. He was gone. He was gone forever.

Then as suddenly as everything had stop, it started up again. She felt as if she had been sitting there an hour, but in reality it had only been a few seconds. It's amazing how time quickly passes by when you're having fun. but it makes everything all the more devastating when you have lost a love one. It gives you more time to think. Think about how life 'could' have been. And to think about everything it's not going to be.

Sara hadn't even realized that she was no longer at his side, but standing against the wall, as nurse's and doctor's came rushing in, yelling orders. But she didn't understand a word they said. Her sight was blurry with tears and she felt as though her heart had been ripped out from inside of her. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think. At that moment she wanted nothing more then to die. Anything to stop the pain she was feeling.

Finally she pulled herself together enough to get out of there. She couldn't watch them try and bring him back. That image was not something she wanted to live with for the rest of her life. She knew he was beyond saving. She could feel it in her bones. He wasn't coming back.

She didn't know where her feet where taking her but as long as it was somewhere other then in that room, she didn't care. She noticed a few people giving her odd looks as she walked briskly down the hallway. A nurse asked her if she was alright but she just kept walking. She probably looked like hell but she didn't give a rat's ass about what she looked like.

Her chest was tight from crying. And the tears where still streaming down her eyes. God, she needed to get out of here, and fast. Sara finally came upon an exit, leading out into the warm Las Vegas air. But she couldn't feel the sun upon her face. She was cold and shacking.

Sara looked around frantically, unsure of where to go, if there even was some place to go. She felt so lost. The truth was, without him by her side, she was lost. Before Sara had met him, she had been broken, hell, she probably still was, but just being around him felt _right_. Being around him made her forget her past, made her forget all the mistakes she had made.

Yes, she knew deep down, they where still there, her nightmare and ghosts, but when he was around her, it felt as if the world could end and it wouldn't matter. But now, without him by her side...She couldn't even bring herself to think about it.

She stumbled over to the side of the hospital. She leaned against the wall and grumbled to the ground. It was all starting to sink in. This wasn't some horror story. It wasn't a nightmare. It was reality. And she had to bring herself to face it. Otherwise, she would never be able to overcome her fears.

Sobs racked her body as the tears flooded down her face, even more so then before if that was possible. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, minutes, hours, she didn't care. Then she felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder. She couldn't help but jump at the contact.

"Sara..." Brass could not help but fear the worst. Seeing her like this broke his heart. But he was sure that the reason for Sara's distress would be sure to shatter his heart. Brass knew he hadn't been in good shape. He'd tried to keep his hopes high, but now...Seeing her like this. It took away however little hope that was left.

Sara spoke her next words just above a whisper. "He's gone, Jim...He's gone." She felt as though she heard the words as if someone else had spoken them. Her voice sounded nothing like what she was used too. It sounded broken. Detached. Empty. It was like one of those dreams where you see yourself from far away. Like you're watching yourself in a movie. It didn't seem real. And yet, this hellish dream, was nothing but real.

It had been two days. Two days sine the end of her life as she knew it. She couldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. Hell, she couldn't even think straight. It was like everything that she knew had just vanished from her mind. All her thoughts where mixed together and she couldn't tell one from another. And she kept wishing that she would just die. She wanted nothing more then to see the sight of her own blood. Okay, so it didn't sound like the best thing to do, but it was the only thing she could think of that would end this heart wrenching pain. But no matter how much pain she felt, she knew she could never bring herself to end her own life. It just wasn't in her.

She also knew that he wouldn't want her too. But why did it have to be so damn hard? Seriously. She knew in her heart that he would want her to go on with life. To try and find someone else that could make her happy. They had talked about it once about a year ago. She remembered he'd said he would like to know how and when he would die. So he could say goodbye to the ones he loved. 'So much for that plan.' She thought sarcastically.

Sara remembered that he had made her promise that, if God forbid, something _did_ happen to him, that she would do her best to find someone out there that she loved. He had smiled when he added, just not as much as you love me, but enough to make you smile everyday. Someone that could bring her out of the darkness of her past. Someone who would be there every step of the way, and dry every tear that she cried.

A sad, bitter sweet smile crossed her lips. She closed her eyes, remembering his voice. His touch. His smile. His everything. Silent tears rolled down her pale cheeks. She couldn't keep doing this. The littlest things she remembered about him brought on floods of tears. She was slightly surprised at how many tears a person could cry in one day. She'd gone through a whole damn Kleenex box in one sitting.

Suddenly her smile grew. If he where there now, he would surely be laughing at her. His rich, warm laugh that always made her smile. Here she was, the strong, never show your emotions, always tough, Sara Sidle, sitting her sweatpants, with used Kleenex surrounding her. Her hair was beyond whatever hair went beyond when it was..well beyond fixing, her eyes where red and puffy, and her nose was starting to compete with Rudolph's. She knew she had to get it together.

And so an hour later, with a shower, a comb, a pair of jeans and a little big of make-up, she looked less like a zombie with a cold. She nodded her head in approval as she looked in the mirror. She didn't look half bad. Sara walked over to the closet to grab a nice cozy sweater. Her good mood suddenly began to fade away. All of his things where still there. Like he was never even gone. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that already forming.

The doorbell rang, pulling her back to the present time. She remembered that Jim had said he would stop by sometime to check up on her. Sara was very glad she had decided to get herself together, there no way would she have wanted to open up the door to Jim an hour ago. Sure enough, as she opened the door, she was met with Jim's warm and caring smile. Sara was a little surprised to find Catherine standing beside him.

"How you holding up, sweetheart?" He asked, as he pulled her into a hug. "I'm doing a little better." She said as they came in. "Just can't seem to stop crying you know?" Sara added, trying to make a little joke but failing miserably. Catherine smiled sympathetically at her and said, "We've all been thinking about you. The guys wanted to come over to see you but they didn't want to overstep."

Sara walked into the living room, taking a seat in her favorite red chair. "I would love to see them soon. It would be nice to see their faces again. It feels as if it's been forever since I've seen them." She paused and then added. "How are all of you doing with...well, you know." No matter how hard she tried, she still couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.

"As well as can be expected." Jim said. "He was such a big part of our lives. But we're all doing okay. I don't want you to worry about us alright?" He said, getting a little choked up himself. Sara could only bring herself to nod, knowing that her voice would surely give away the emotions there where swirling around inside.

Jim looked over at Catherine, silently asking her if it was the right time. He had been dreading this moment since the first time he heard the news. But he had been Gil's best friend and he had to do it. She nodded at him. He might was well just get it over with because he knew there would never be a right time. Jim reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"Sara...Gil, he uh...He told me about a year ago to give this to you if something ever happened." His voice started to crack and his sight was became blurring. He'd never been a man to cry, but right now he didn't care. "You meant the world to him. And he loved you with his whole heart. I think you where the first thing in his life that he loved more then his bugs." He said, smiling a little.

"Now uh I'm sure you'll want to be alone when you read this." He said, lifting up the paper in his hand. "But if you want to talk about it when you're done, Catherine and I won't be far, alright? But if you want to be alone that's okay too." Jim got up and set the paper on the coffee table in front of him. "So uh...We'll leave you to it okay?" When Sara's tear filled eyes didn't leave the paper on the table Jim and Catherine took that as their cue to leave.

Once the door was closed behind them Sara slowly reached her shaking hand out and took the piece of paper. She unfolded it slowly, and her eyes where met with the familiar smooth hand writing that she knew all to well. She closed her eyes, trying to rid them of the tears. Sara opened them again and began to read.

_'My dearest Sara,_

_ Please stop crying. I know you are. I know because I'm with you right now, as you're reading this. I'm looking over your shoulder. You can feel my breathe on your neck. You can feel my touch as I tuck that unruly piece of hair behind your ear. Although my body has left you, my soul never will. I promise you that. _

_I don't want you to cry. I don't like seeing you in pain. I want you to go one living your life to the fullest. You know that. Now just promise me that you'll try your best to make it happen. Just think of it like this, I'm not sleeping an endless sleep, because I'm with you. In your heart. Every time you go to sleep, I'm be with you in your dreams. Although some nights you may not dream of me, but I'll be there. I'll just be hidden in the shadows where you can't see me clearly. _

_As time goes on, don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress. Think of it as starting over. Starting a new chapter of your life. I'm sure I'm stupid for saying this because I'm sure you won't forget, but remember me. Remember all the good times that we've had together. _

_So I know this isn't the longest letter, but it doesn't have to be. You know how much I loved and still love you. That love will never stop. And one day, we will see each other again, but I do pray that that time is a long ways away from now. So when you go to sleep tonight, know that I will be there. Know that I will be with you in your dreams._

_ Forever yours,_

_Gilbert Grissom'_

The tears where streaming down her face like never before, but a smile was also on her lips. Sara suddenly had the overwhelming urge to go to sleep, and to see what awaited her in her dreams.


End file.
